Musings...

Have been having a bit of a conversation with Sharon, Gord's sister, about transcontinental communication, or, more to the point, our inter-family communication. It's made me look again at my desire to give gifts, and acknowledge that a part of it feels like necessity/compulsion, in the sense that I worry how others will feel if I don't give anything. It's highlighted by the fact that gift-giving hardly registers on Gord's radar. He calls his family a bit, perhaps emails, but pretty much, until we're in Canada, there's not much interaction. He hasn't hardly spoken to lots of the people he/we'll no doubt hang out with a lot while we're over there. And it doesn't seem to affect the relationships negatively - he just picks them up when we're in the country.

So Christmas is coming, and I've been making lists of family and friends, and thinking of gifts I can make for them, and this is an enjoyable process. But for one thing, it takes a lot of energy to make a range of gifts (even though it's fun) so I don't think my lists are entirely realistic. But more importantly, I hate how it feels like a one-woman show. It'd be cool if Gord and I chose to buy/make gifts together, but this just isn't going to happen. Just like it'd be cool if Gord and I both updated this blog.

So I have a choice here. Gord is obviously free to do whatever he likes, and I can either get pissed off at what can seem like a lack of contribution to elements of life that I value. Or, I can cut myself some slack and choose to let the blog fall behind, and not have hand-made, or any, gifts to give, without worrying how other people will feel. This makes space to ask myself what I actually want to do, as opposed to feeling like I need to make a gift or be writing here. Cos often I hate how the computer sucks so much energy. It makes space to just climb into bed, which is probably what I should be doing right now.

However, I find it really hard to switch off from how other people might feel. I don't ring that many people in Canada, so if I stop even putting stuff up on this blog, won't they think I'm not interested in them? And if I come empty-handed to Christmas lunch, because I don't necessarily want to buy stuff for the sake of it, won't everyone feel pissed off?

Just processing out loud here - still working it out...

So how do you do gift-giving in your family?

Betta but some photos up here to keep this blog interesting!

Here's Gord and Jas at Miri's 3rd birthday party at Gembrook (same as Jas and I, above).

Anna came round for tea on Monday, wanting to shave her head as an act of solidarity for a friend of her's at work who's having chemo. I did the honours, and I reckon she looks good! It's something you have to do once in your life, anyway... Love to all... And please don't take my lack of blogging personally! Chances are, I'm just nourishing myself by reading a book in bed, or something!